Most of us come from broken homes anymore. And when i say broken, i don't mean just divorce. It is the job of every parent to ruin their children, though all mean to do well, and raise human beings they'd like to know in the world. Sometimes we turn out all wonky, do stupid and self centered things. Often we are a disappointment, but likewise we are equally awesome. But almost everyone i know has their own version of broken. I'm pretty familiar with my family's version. Lately i've been conducting a post mortem on my childhood, what little of it i feel i got. I'm equipped with such a high level of defensiveness that i am almost exclusively defending myself against blame that might not even be handed out. But i'm lucky in that i have a few really strong positive influences that have shaped me. From my mother a fighting spirit of do everything quickly and efficiently (though i'm learning quick can turn into haste). From my father a bit of the artistic hullabaloo that comes out in weird places. From my grandfather the desire to learn as much as possible, my grandmother a sense of wonder and expressing love in everything. From my brother (admittedly my favorite) i am learning ease, humor and fortitude against injustice, attack and unpleasantness. When i think of my uncle, i think of his joy in the moment, enthusiasm and brazen expression of his passion. my aunt love, communication, breaking things down.
Being with mjw i have attained a whole new group from whom i learn and take comfort. In the past week, the most wonderful experience i had was looking Marta in the eye and telling her i needed a hug and was scared and having her give me that hug and say she understood, and how glad she was that i was able to express the sentiment, knowing what a huge deal that was for me. MJW seems to have inherited her empathy and sensitivity. She knows exactly what's happening, but will let you get there on your own with a gentle nudge. Her generosity with her heart and time is unbounded. She is a bright star in my life, and all her family members and friends have a little piece of that awesome and bring their own to the table. B's Courage and loyalty, M's love and passion, C's drive and sense of justice. These are just caricatures that belie the things that bubble over out everyone, but there is a limit on what i can do with a broken hand.
The Morgans are no different. As i get to know them more, i love them more, and can't imagine a world without them. And TW better just consider herself part of the family, because i can't think of someone who fits better with her strength, grace, wit, will, and passion.
So thanks to my family. I sometimes forget to do it enough, to say I LOVE YOU.
And mom W: sorry i had to shoot you dead in Bang. But i was a renegade. And all your kids made sure to avenge your death ;)
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